My two older children, J and Lil spent the night with my in-laws the other night. My little girl loves her grandma and they stayed up a little late. She finally fell asleep a little after midnight. No big deal, right?
We were at their house today and my father-in-law was talking about J. He said something along the lines of, “you’re such a good boy, you went to sleep the other night.”
I was speechless. Absolutely paralyzed. That, one, my son was somehow “good” because he went to sleep at some appropriate time. And, two, that my daughter was somehow “less than” because she didn’t go to sleep at the same time.
I have to say: I love my in-laws. They are the such an amazing addition to my life and I’m so blessed that I married into such a wonderful family. My father-in-law didn’t mean it to hurt and it could have been a comment said by anyone that would have led me to these thoughts.
I think it’s easier for me to see other peoples’ words and critique them. I’m sure I say things that will be very sensitive for my children. I pray that God is already working on those statements and allowing them not to break down my children in any way.
Our words. They are so powerful. They can be brief, but hold so much meaning. It physically hurts my body to think that my daughter is some how less than my son. That she isn’t a “good girl.”
I want to let my words sit in my mouth a moment longer. So that I can ponder them and make sure I’m truly saying what I want to say. That I’m really expressing my ideas with the best phrases possible. That my words wouldn’t tear down, but would build up.
That my words would be true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report.